The letter of the day.

So and so is brought to you today by the letter ‘Q’, and the number 29834571093485710394.

As in a ‘queue’ of 29834571093485710394 people at the Popular closed-door member sale at the Bras Basah outlet.

Seriously, is 25% off post its, pens, staple bullets, rulers, glue and other stuff that worth the queues and seas of people?

I don’t understand those people who rush through the aisles and grab all the small cheap stuff they can think of (and probably will never use) rather than check out the costly non-fiction books, or that expensive comic book, or that coveted novel. Or a nice printer, paper cuter ( Lord knows if I had more hands I would have plucked one for myself) laminator, etc. Why post-its?! I don’t understand Singaporeans.

We’ll queue for the simplest, cheapest stuff if we think it’s a great deal. I mean, why pay $1.60 when you can pay $1.20 right?

People in Africa queue for fresh drinking water, 10 miles away from their village.

We buy baskets of stationery, and drive into town just to get closer to these ‘don’t miss’ sales. Why?

Anyways, I’m not complaining. I got the 2 novels I’ve been waiting ages to get (by Kazuo Ishiguro), and I’ve got two handy books, one on lighting, one on soft furnishings (sewing, mending, framing), both really handy for soft sculpture and future installations. Plus I’ve got two plastic paper-shelving units that look exactly like the Muji ones, but are half the price! Tee-hee!

A big thanks to Rina for being there in my final lap of the Queue/Race =]

Good night, and may this evening’s air inspire you.

Dig Deep.

‘Happiness’ is a concept. It is a idea, that promotes optimistic, positive thinking in negative-ish situations.

For example.

‘If only I had a _________, I would be happy’.

‘If I could _________, I would be happy’.

But doesn’t that leave a very big hole if the _____s don’t get done or don’t happen? When we mentally draw the line for us to cross in order for us to be happy, we set ourselves up for unnecessary disappointment when the line is not crossed.

I have been playing the wrong statements in my head my whole life. If I was thinner, I would be happy. If I was smarter, I would be happy. If I could draw better, or carve better, or weld better, I would be happy. If I maintained good grades in school, I would be happy. If I had a cat, I would be happy. If I had more money, I would be happy.

It’s time to change a few of these statements, and to everybody reading this (who actually give a rat’s ass) please bear with me through this period of mental and psychological renovation.

I’ve been thinking about it very carefully, and the truth is, I am happy. I am quite happy. I have a God who thought someone like me was worth saving. I have a family that drives me mad, but loves me very much. I have a boyfriend who doesn’t like women who look like ten-year-old boys. I have  few, but great friends to laugh through difficult times with, some I don’t see very often, but are no less of a friend in my eyes. I study at a school that may not have the best system, but works well enough (and is magically surrounded by the most delicious food places in the entire country). And, I may have a faulty jaw and faulty back and faulty eyes, but I have taste buds and a stomach in good condition. I am suddenly very thankful that I can walk normally, and run if I wanted to, and laugh and cry and see and hear and smell.

(you must think I’m mad by now. Like, what the hell has this girl been thinking about.)

You’re right. What have I been thinking about? I believe there is no such thing as ‘wasting time’ before an exam, and its taken me long enough to find out. I’ve been digging deep into my inner swirling thoughts and dreams to fish out what could possibly be my ‘artistic concept’. And it’s not easy.

When it gets too personal, people will say I am self-indulgent and egotistic.

When it gets too pro-female/anti-male, people will say I am a feminist artist.

When it gets too childhood-experience-y, people will say I have daddy issues, and need to just get over myself.

But the truth is, everything happens for a reason. As as arts student, and as a hopeful future practicing artist, I hope people will change the way they look at art in Singapore. We’re too cynical, skeptical and ignorant, all at the same time (you see, even the way I say that makes me all of the above). If only we could one day realize that art is not something pretty on your living room wall, or something realistically rendered, or something that the world doesn’t need. One day, Singaporeans have to realize that art is the best way to tell a story. And the good artists are the people with stories to tell: collective memories, societal issues, etc.

The other day, TBH was saying that because society’s not giving to artists, he thinks artists should say a big F you to society. I don’t agree. Societies and art go hand-in-hand, because every artist was from some kind of society, and under some kind of upbringing (or lack of upbringing). I’m just saying, that a fish that complains the ocean is too salty can’t decide to reject water, cause it’ll die. It has to be smart enough to grow its own wings or legs, to change its situation.

(reading through the whole post again, I realized I jumped to quite a few topics. But hey, what do they all have in common? They all had to pass through here first -points to forehead-)

Good night, everyone. May your dreams be sweet and inspiring.

(such so precious thus)

“Because no matter what happens in the world,
no matter how terrible life turns out to be,
no matter how cruel people are with people,
no matter how far apart we fall,

and no matter how much of ourselves gets left behind in places we’ve been through,
the fragile things I carry are those I’ve held with you.  ”

Today was precious. I never want to let it go. Thank you, for seeing the best in me and forgiving the worst.

(btw readers, pictures can be found on weheartit.com if not stated otherwise. )

The kind of guy.

Happy First Year =]

What has been lost, is now found.

I now understand the importance of Religion, and God in my life. 

It’s not about being pious and devout, or fasting and abstinence, or attending daily/weekly mass (or not attending at all). 

It’s not even about earning God’s favour, by praying, chanting, saying the rosary and everything else that falls into ‘religious routine’. It matters, but its not all there is to religion. 

It’s not about counting on Holy Water Blessings to get you through exams, or “waiting for God’s signs” or “spiritual journeying with peers”. 

After I’ve cut down on church activities and Youth Ministry Activities, I’ve come to realize the most important thing about it all: 

It’s no use trying to find Jesus in books, talks, seminars, in prayers and in mass alone. 
It’s no use being nice to Catholics and consciously detach yourself from other human beings.

I buried myself in all that I loved, and hated, and tried, did and failed. In all I believed in, in all I denounced. In all my fears, likes, dislikes, family, friends and enemies. In all I am, in all I am not, and in  all I will never be. 

And I lost myself, to the fear, and the temptation, and the rest of the untold universe. 

And by losing myself to all that I could find, I found what I had lost: Faith.

How beautiful is it to realize that “it is what I do that defines me”. Rather than immerse myself in the Idea that God dwells in Church Life and Catholics, I have thrown myself into the bigger world, so as to find my purpose.

And every day, I am slowly being reminded of that beautiful, beautiful purpose.
It is slowly being revealed to me, as I continue down my path.

Nay, not the straight and narrow, nor the wide and winding,
But rather, the untrodden grass that sits on the side of the pathways, whispering to my soul to test it.  

Thank You Jesus, for the safety, for the comfort, for the Promise.

Just Go On.

Today was an absolute bombdeeshoppingday with Jie @ Orchard. But I was buying useful things so its okay =] (hint: useful is defined as ‘things I would definitely use’ haha not things I need)

Then, I magically appeared at Osage tonight for the show Found & Lost ’cause I was meeting family/friends for dinner at timbre3. I bumped into some teachers there and they asked me to go in to see. But hey, it was really cool. My favourite one is Ian Woo’s graphite drawings on huuuuuge paper. The fastfast parts, the s qu i g gl y parts and the llllloooooooonnnnnnnggggg lines. Veh cool. Everyone needs to go and see it. It’s free! 

It’s got plenty of things that many people I know will like, like:  

MIMI:There was one about Mount Fuji! Video Installation + Drawings =] Very cute! 
BRYAN: Beautiful photos of disassembled-assembled furniture, sorta. Veh confusing. You must go to see what I mean.
DZAKI: Plenty of straight lines and white and black and metal ;;
RINA: There’s one with a biiiiig mirror =P Haha, joking. It’s just cool overall I think you’ll like it.  

 

And now, I feel like painting =O

Closure.

The exact kind of ending I needed for a new beginning. It’s a typical scenario, but I’m in no position to make judgements. I’m just glad that the feelings of fear, pain and despondency have evaded my tired soul, and I am liberated. 

My eyes have cried their lives’ worth of tears, and my heart has been splintered into shards of memories – painful memories – that I had of you and I, once before.

But that day, I did not cry. I will not cry for you anymore. My conscience is free. 

 

Also,
Assessments are round the bend!
IIA was last last week (that was one bitch of a subject) and the history quiz went well. 
Digital Art submission was today, and Technical Drawing is due tomorrow.  
After tomorrow, 4 subjects down, 4 more to go!

 

To all the NAFA people, be strong. Eat properly, drink lots of water and get enough rest! We’re almost there!

1234.

You give me more lovin’ than I’ve ever had
Make it all better when I’m feeling sad
Tell me that I’m special even when I know I’m not

Give me more lovin’ from the very start
Piece me back together when I fall apart
Tell me things you never even tell your closest friends 

Make me feel good when I hurt so bad
Barely gettin’ mad, I’m so glad I found you
I love being around you
You make it easy, it’s as easy as 1234

There’s only one thing to do
Three words for you:
I love you.
There’s only one way to say
Those three words and that’s what I’ll do:
I love you.

-Plain White T’s. 

 

One day
To-morrow. 
3 cheers, to
4 months =]

Blessed.

To have met you. To have been your friend. To have talked to you endlessly about many things. To have shared so much with you. To have the absolute freedom to be myself around you. To have absolute trust in you. To be angry at you. To get upset over something you’ve done. To reconcile with you. To apologize to you. To hear an apology from you. To forgive you, and be forgiven by you. To hold you, and have you hold me. To care for you, and have you care for me. To worry about you, and have you worry about me. To know that no matter how far we’ve come, or how far we’re going, the best thing about forever is today, every day, spent with you. 

Thank you. 
I love you.

But of course, Valentine’s Day is overrated. Roses, chocolates, cards. Who needs em anyway. No use giving something that’ll die, or get eaten, or get thrown away eventually. Love endures all =] And every day’s a perfect opportunity to give it away.  Who needs one stupid day when I have every day of ze year =] 

 

Shit. homework’s not done. 

Earth, consumed.

“From the soft, malleable body at the mercy of the artist’s hands to the heavy breathing of flames in the kiln, clay provides infinite possibilities of form and function.”
-quoted from Sculpture Square website. 

Ceramics is suddenly everywhere, and can do anything, and is everything I’ve dreamed of in a medium. As a child, I loved it. But now, comparing it to sculpture, where does my “true passion” lie? Somebody help me. 

And I read the cd review for Snow Patrol’s latest album “A Hundred Million Suns”. It was very negative, saying their previous album was upbeat-er, this album is too mellow, blah blah blah. But I felt that this album was alot more sensitive, and carried alot more Irish tunes/beats/rhythms. Heck, even the accent in some songs were sexy. And who needs funky distracting upbeats when you can have contemplative, beautiful lyrics =]

Set Down Your Glass – Snow Patrol

Just close your eyes
And count to five
Let’s craft the only thing we know into surprise.

Set down your glass
I painted this
To look like you and me forever as we’re now.

And I’m shaken, then I’m still
When you’re eyes meet mine I lose simple skills
Like to tell you all I want is now. 
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you more than I could ever promise, more than I could ever say, more than ever now after today. 

So ceramics, or sculpture? AHHH.