Just Go On.

Today was an absolute bombdeeshoppingday with Jie @ Orchard. But I was buying useful things so its okay =] (hint: useful is defined as ‘things I would definitely use’ haha not things I need)

Then, I magically appeared at Osage tonight for the show Found & Lost ’cause I was meeting family/friends for dinner at timbre3. I bumped into some teachers there and they asked me to go in to see. But hey, it was really cool. My favourite one is Ian Woo’s graphite drawings on huuuuuge paper. The fastfast parts, the s qu i g gl y parts and the llllloooooooonnnnnnnggggg lines. Veh cool. Everyone needs to go and see it. It’s free! 

It’s got plenty of things that many people I know will like, like:  

MIMI:There was one about Mount Fuji! Video Installation + Drawings =] Very cute! 
BRYAN: Beautiful photos of disassembled-assembled furniture, sorta. Veh confusing. You must go to see what I mean.
DZAKI: Plenty of straight lines and white and black and metal ;;
RINA: There’s one with a biiiiig mirror =P Haha, joking. It’s just cool overall I think you’ll like it.  

 

And now, I feel like painting =O

Youngest, or second oldest?

Sometimes I wonder where it’s coming from. If its because you’ve made the mistakes before, or you’ve had Jie try it with you, or if you’re just plain worried that I’m incapable of looking after myself. 

But, you know what? I don’t care. Because the day you open your eyes and see that I’ve been trying my best, you’ll know I’ve been trying my best. And you’ll all shut up about it. For once. 

 

Today was a good day, doing history with Rina and Dzaki. Rina, if you’re reading this, go sip your water now. Lol.

Uncut.

Please tell me there’s a simpler explanation for all this. That the world just moves too fast, that adults just don’t have all the answers, that love isn’t that predictable, that fate isn’t so fucked up. 

Please tell me there’s a way I can live my life without someone standing beside me, showering me with instructions, and breathing tried-and-tested directions into me. 

If you spell life out for me this way, what’s the point of me living it for myself? I’m almost eighteen, and if the past seventeen years of your guidance and preparation are put to use, then any mistake I make at this point in my life can only lead to inconsequential outcomes. You say you trust me, but do you? Really? 

You know you can, but do you want to? 
When will you allow yourself to let go of the three-year-old girl who sat at your dresser with her crayons for hours? That eight-year-old girl who naively had crushes on boys her age? That 16-year-old girl who promised you her best for her O level exams? That 18-year-old girl who is finally growing up?

Let me go, and I promise you, I will not wander far from you.  

I love you, mummy.

Christmas cheer.

This Christmas is definitely the best christmas I’ve had. Had zucky-boy over for gift exchange and dinner (his first) with the peoples. Everyone got awesome presents, and I got awesome presents! Cool bags, cool ningnongs, but the bestest is obvious *cough*WOLVERINE*cough*, you know. Thank you for spending the day with me/us, and thank you for helping out too. I love you =] (there I’ve said it fearlessly) I’m trying not to be so shy-shy, so people please pardon the minimum awkwardness with maximum effort. 

I finally plucked up the _______ (whatever compelled me) to pick up my jogging shoes and head downstairs. I ran to the track (about half a round) and ran 2 and a half rounds, so that would make it almost 3 rounds, right? (about 1.2km) Not bad for a pneumonia survivor/recoverer. You know, you hear about all these freak incidents when people with colds jog and collapse and die? Yeah, 3 rounds can’t be that bad, huh. 

And tomorrow’s going to be a funny day, because I’m leaving my house in the morning, but ultimately I’ll be at a party in the evening. So, how do I dress without changing clothes during the day? Hmm, I wonder. I hope UberVoonderKool is gonna be a success, though.

Filial? Pity.

Nothing ever seems to be a 100% with me, does it. 

Because I am incapable of feeling anything above my love for art. Because although I am inexperienced, I still cannot be governed by instinct alone. Because I am incapable of knowing when to say ‘no’, and when to say ‘go’. Because I am still too young, and unlike the other “role models of the Universe”, I am unable to see the difference between right and wrong, and I am unable to differentiate between shoulds and should-nots. Because we humans were made to learn as we live. But tell me this: If you’re doing this only because you never want me to fall, then how am I going to learn to walk, ever? My whole life, I’ve learnt to sit, and do as I was told. I’m seventeen, and its about time I acted my age. The future is only 4 years away — Please let me prepare for it myself.

Thank you, again.

For all the lovely smses, emails, greetings, presents, and pleasant surprises, and even the belated greetings and casual wishings, Thank You all. It’d be difficult to name all, but I’d just like to thank Mentors for the beautiful surprise, Sandra and Robin for the muffin madness, Liwei for the lovely dinner-giggle-catchups, and my family for the simple food and present-exchange. Being seventeen just makes me feel that much more ready for alcoh.. I mean life. XD

And Happy Birthday to my beloved Jie Jie also =D You’re like my twin and I really wouldn’t know what I’d do without you in my life. MUACKS. Go learn to drive X)

Exhausted and not really looking forward to the Funfair tomorrow because I still have homework to do. God, please give me the strength and determination to serve Your people and NOT lose my temper (much) tomorrow and give me the patience to handle the handleable things. I really want to help and be good.

Oh oh, and the will power to stay far, far away from the cotton candy machine and oily food booth =P